Making Jam

At some point last week I decided to make blackberry jam. This is likely directly related to my presumed success making blackberry vodka. Which involves dumping lots of blackberries in to lots of vodka (I think the guy who picks up our glass from the recycling must have thought we were on a binge last week). Anyway, then you let it sit for a month, so I don't actually know that I've done this successfully for a couple more weeks, but apparently my heart believes it has, because it is already urging me on to bigger and better things. Namely, jam.

So first I had to look up how to do it. The first recipe had, like, seven bullet points related to sterilizing the jars alone. Important, to be sure, but I decided boiling them in water for a time was as complicated as the process needed to be. 

To make blackberry jam, you need lots of huge pots, lots of sugar, a funnel, and jam jar picker-upper (to lift jars from boiling water), pectin, and, of course, blackberries. 

So yesterday I got off to a late start, and gathering the funnel and picker-upper ended up being more time consuming than expected, and then it started to rain, so collecting the blackberries was also out.

So this morning I headed out to the bush in the yard to gather berries. Do you know what's on a berry bush. Spiders. Lots and lots and lots of spiders. But hey, I'm a big girl, right? Yeah, right. I think we're all adults until THIS*: 

*not actual size. But almost.

Yeah, that drops out of the bush into your little bowl. Holy jesus. It was through total force of will that I managed not to drop the bowl and spill all my berries. But *SHUDDER.*

So I placed the bowl on the ground and tilted it to the spider walked out on it's own. Then I pulled up my big girl panties and got on with it.

There were other spiders, but they were all small (less than a quarter inch). I still freaked each time, but after the first one, it was in perspective. However, I consider this my cardio for the day, because my heart rate was definitely up for the hour it took to do this. I was covered in a fine sheen of sweat as I carried my bowl back into the kitchen.

So then you boil the berries, with the pectin. Fact: boiling blackberries sputter and stain and burn. Then add sugar, repeat. 

So then I put all my sugary berry goodness into jars, 10 in all, and put on the lids. Then you put the jars into boiling water for ten minutes. So there I am, cleaning up the kitchen and keeping an eye on the jars when, can you guess?

That's right! The sink broke, dumping water across the kitchen floor!! 

So while the jam boils, I stick a bucket under the leak, towel up the kitchen, and then drag the neighbor over to find out if it can be fixed. Apparently yes, because he fixed it in about 30 seconds. So no plumber, which is great.

Luckily, this did not impact the jam in anyway, and none of the jars exploded as they boiled away for ten minutes, which I sort of expected they would. And now I have THESE:

Now, the jars are out, cooling. I am waiting anxiously to see if they sealed properly. If not, you, yes, YOU, may get your very own jar soon, because they wont keep. However, my secret hope is that enough of then seal so that I can trade some with the neighbor, who rumor has it made Strawberry Jam. So then we could have two kinds. 

And how great would that be?